I'm moving

So, I'm not tech savvy enough - and don't care to be - to fix the commenting ability on this blog. Thus, I have taken the easier route of creating a new blog. I hope you follow me there. I will now be located at

http://themakingsofaman.blogspot.com

I hope to see you there.

Ain't nothin' like the real thing baby...

How appropriate that this golden oldie tune just chimed in the hotel where I now work as I open up this new post. I am confused as how to go about being genuine and authentic in this blog without it becoming an emotional vomit bucket. No one likes emotional vomit buckets whatever they may so.

I am getting married in 6 days. I am incredibly excited to see old friends, to be surrounded by love, family, and friends, to see the Lord's providence in it all amidst the various challenges, and to be married to by my beloved til death separates us for a time. The nearness of the wedding has definitely heightened my anxiety concerning my insecurities and inadequacies. Maybe having a person so near and so close - like a magnifying glass - brings out the beauty in the crevices and broken places through the wondrous vulnerability.

I know this decision and this commitment are bigger and deeper than I realize at this time. I love talking with couples who have been married various lengths of times. There is a true sense of membership around those who are married. I feel like my eyes have been opened to a club that's always been in existence and I never realized they had meetings but were doing so all around me.

Here are a few lessons I'm learning:
- Not everything has to be said, regardless of how true it is.
- Leave and cleave brings about joy and loss
- Trying to change my spouse is futile, fruitless, and manipulative

As usual, this post was a big blob of randomness....which is pretty much how my mind and life works. I hope it is profitable for all involved.

WOW!

Baby Jesus just fixed my blog! Thank you miraculous Baby Jesus.

Help me!

Somehow my new blog posts do not have comments possible. Can anyone help me solve this dilemma? Please, save my blog. Baby Jesus will smile on you with His big Jewish nose and ears if you do.

Manhood

Authentic manhood is one of the greatest mysteries in my life. It bewilders me daily. I (and we as people, in general) are so intricately woven it proves difficult for me to separate the different forces at work in me. Personality, society, culture, past experiences, gender, genetics, the Holy Spirit, the enemy, my fallen nature, marketing, teaching of various types, etc. The list could continue to generate for days.

I am here to invite you on my journey of self-discovery...which I guess now makes it a group discovery for a self. Anyway...

How do you define manhood?

It's offical...

I am now an inept blogger that cannot figure out how to successfully embed a video. Children will overtake me with their technology soon. I'm sure of it.

And yes, Sarah Lew, this is coming your way soon:

My Brain on Blogs

So, anytime I sit down to write a blog post I realize my brain works like this video (complete with 80's sound effects).



I feel like there's so much heat and activity going on in the web, my brain just can not handle it. My synapses start firing like a jack rabbit in a field shooting out in all directions. It makes my blog self-esteem immediately go down that I can't stay on task anymore than a frustrated ADHD kid in a classroom.

A case of the Mondays

It seems like everyone had a case of the Mondays today. I am a little tired, but I have had an overall decent day. My apartment is less messy than it has been in a long time, and thus meaning my life isn't as badly out of control since they are positively correlated.

A trifecta of newness has restored my mind and body - an a prayerfully increasing degree - this chilly, but not cold enough Monday.

1) A resolute spirit that I will not let these classes, papers, negative characteristics, or life situations beat me to a pulp and cause me to fail.

2) A drive for that which is beyond me. God's Name and Kingdom, for my lovely one Sarah, and for our upcoming life together.

and number 3) is ..........drumroll...........The quiet zones of the library with no internet access. With the magnanomous stiumli reduction in my environment, my mind has little to no choice but to focus on the looming assignments that taunt me.

With these powers combined I will make it through December 13th when I am done with 4 out of 5 semeseters of graduate school (said the first generation college graduate), I have moved out of the last dormitory/school apartment style housing in my life to my present knowledge, and will be only weeks away from the blessed union of my beloved and me.

Let the countdown until the end of the semester and the coming wedding begin/continue/roll tide roll!

Flamin' Friday

Is there a gay gene that homosexuals are born with?

This is a frequently asked question in the world and church. Some homosexual people in the world hope the answer will be yes so that non-graceful, prejudice, judgmental people will leave them alone for the decision they couldn't help but make. Those that are homosexual - which in my opinion the term is on quite a sliding scale - within the church hope the answer is yes so that they will likewise not be judged for the sin they couldn't help but choose. On the other side of the barricade/pew are those that hope the answer is no. Some hope this so they can have a reason to judge those of a sin that is or is not their own. Some hope they will be justified in knowing that they were right that gays chose their lifestyle. Some feel it would provide them proof like The Case for Christ against the homosexual clan that is quickly destroying the structure of our nation and families faster than our capillaries are clogging with movie butter.

Well, now that I've covered some glittering generalities I'll let you in on my tew cents. I believe the answer is no and yes, however, I don't have the usual answers. I believe the answer is no because I think that having a gay gene is just ridiculous...which is a REALLY strong by the way. On the otherhand, I do believe there is a "gay gene." It's called human nature. From birth we are all rotten, spoiled, and putrid in and of ourselves and thanks to our parents (nice goin' mom and dad). Why do you think babies puke all the time, really?! Everyone has their different propensities toward different sins. Maybe this is a result of simply living in a fallen world. Maybe this is part of generational curses and the sins of the father coming onto the son/daughter (which I am very unlearned in this area in respect to the new covenant).

These are my thoughts, and I have a lot more on this topic and I hope to be consistent in writing about them to spur some non-elevated, mature dialogue concerning the topic. Tell me your thoughts.

A Dawn of Promise

I can't not express how filled with joy, exuberance, overwhelmption (which isn't even a word and I don't care. It's what I am.), hope, hope, hope, and more hope. I feel like God has pulled back part of the curtain of what He's been preparing me for for my whole life. I feel like my eyes have been opened. I sobbed with joy today for the first time in a very long time. Too many details to express here, but no my faithful friends and readers that I am filled with hope regardless of the outcome of my current situation. Rejoice with me and praise our God who is bigger than our myopic views and plans. All praise and glory to You oh Lover of my soul.