Quandry...it's like laundry, but more confusing...

I have had so many thoughts in my head the past few days I hardly no where to begin. Sarah's dad - for various unsaid reasons (to many of you, not to us) - has taken away his blessing from our marriage and has said that if we get married in January, he will not attend.

.........

That's all I got. That's it. I am left incredibly confused by the multitudes of questions assaulting my grey matter. I want to honor and respect her family in this, but I'm not sure what that equals in terms of the course of action.

Instead of airing unnecessary details which hurt us about the situation, I'm going to give thanks because I don't want to. I feel so angry, hurt, betrayed, and wronged in all of this. So...thanks.

Thank you God that you use what seems like the shittiest situations at time to bring glory to Your Name.
Thank you that you knew this was going to happen and the You have Your hands wrapped all over this situation.
Thank you God that my integrity has been called out that as the light of inspection shines in internally and externally I can be more refined and reflect you more.
Thank you that I am furious, that I can look to you for solutions rather than futile, sinful outbursts of rage and violence.
Thank you that we have been judged that You will defend us and prove Yourself in us true, though I don't know what that outcome will look like.
Thank you for family and how it shows me the importance of communication, vulnerability, and unconditional in general and for future in relation to my family and other families.
Thank you God that I have the skeletons that I do that Your name can be seen over my taboo past.
Thank you God for helping me avoid negative coping mechanisms.
Thank you God that you seem to be my decreasing my desire for the strongholds that have held me bound for so long. Praise Your name!

Ok, folks, what are you thankful for? And remember, we're called to give thanks in ALL things.

Observations

I must say that it is INCREDIBLY interesting to look at the Democratic rallies and see people of several races, but when viewing McCain's concession speech only glistening white faces could be seen in the crowd.

I am proud that White Heirarchy will no longer be seen as superior and dominant in this nation.

Congratulations Barack Obama

Well, the votes are in Senator Obama is now President Obama. The reign of President Bush will end on January 20th. I am excited for the victory for social justice this day. I am proud that I have seen the blood and tears of many's efforts during the Civil Rights Movement realized. I was moved when I saw an African American girl at my school's library running to tell her fellow study partners that Obama had won. She instantly pulled out her phone to begin the texting rampage. Soon, though, my stomach settled in my loins. While moved with joy, I am moved with anxiety. With so much talk of the "fulfillment of prophecy," the Democratic Congress and President, the tumultous economy and foreign fronts for our nation, I am nervous. I do not know that I would not feel exactly the same had McCain won.

Nonetheless, let us not forget that the One True God is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Let us not forget that we are first citizens of the Kingdom of God and Heaven and aliens in passing in this land.

God watch over us. May YOU be the harbinger of change above all. Help us to heed, obey, and follow You above all. Amen.

Surprise

It's Election Day in America. I know it can be wearisome to hear things about the election constantly, but, really, today is the crux of the matter.

Get your patukis (spelling?) to the voting booth (if you're registered) and cast your ballot. It is your civil right. People kill for this right. Use yours. I am going to use mine right now.

Go Ron Paul!

FYI:

ter·gi·ver·sate

1.	to change repeatedly one's attitude or opinions with respect to a cause, subject, etc.; equivocate.

2.	to turn renegade.

---

—Related forms

ter·gi·ver·sa·tion, noun

Happy Birthday Mom. Miss you ELT.

Man: "It's colder than a witch's titty out here."

Me: "How do you know how cold a witch's titty is?"

Man: "Your mother of course."

This man, ELT, was no other than my Dad. This is one of my favorite memories. He told me this in his single wide trailer where I learned to play poker, LOVE movies, and eat more bologna and cheese sandwiches than I could count. My dad said this not because my mother was a witch per se (although they were divorced, peacefully...overall), but because my Mom's birthday was on Halloween. Today.

This post goes out to you tew that made me possible through your love and lovin'.

Not only did my perverted dad teach me humor, so did my mom. Still, my mom's humor was of a different breed. Thus the rest of this post will be filled with candy corny humor. I am the fruit of his seed and her womb both literally and figuratively.

Where do ghosts mail their letters?
Answer: At the ghost office

What do you get when you goose a ghost?
Answer: A handfull of sheet!

Why did the ghost cross the road?
Answer: To get to "THE OTHER SIDE"

What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
Answer: He's mist

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Answer: Hoblin Goblin.

What do you call a wicked witch who lives by the sea?
Answer: A Sand-witch

What do you get when you cross sleeping beauty and Dracula?
Answer: Iron poor blood

Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
Answer: She had bat breath.

Why are black cats such good singers?
Answer: They're very mewsical.

Ok, that's all I can hadle. Happy Halloween everyone.

Lessons from Above and Below

As I was meaning to type yesterday: the lesson I learned during all of this Larry Boy fiasco - told in the usual rabbit trail manner by which I speak and live.


Some constant struggles and questions in my life are: what does it mean to be a man? What equals masculinity? What does the Bible say about these issues? Well, my friends and blog acquaintences, I have found a worthy link that quenched and whet my appetite regarding these issues. It is the website for the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. The website is very thorough at fielding some answers to my last question/struggle listed. The council members include some major studs and studettes such as R. Albert Mohler, Jr., C. J. Mahaney, and John Piper to list just a few. You deicde who's the studette.


I spent quite a couple hours perusing this site once I found it. On it I read that the husband's role in the family, Biblically (b/c that is a tennet of their beliefs: that the Bible defines particular structural roles for the husband and wife in a marriage relationship), is to bear primary responsibilty for leading, protecting, and providing for the family. THANK YOU. Finally, someone to give me the answer. I had never heard this message so clearly and succinctly spelled out (literally, letter by letter).


Now, on with the story:
As I was sitting praying and thinking on what Sarah and I should do with the truck situation. My anger and frustration and uncertainty of what to do were quickly brooding. As this was taking place my brain and heart started looking for who to blame. It's her dad's fault for not helping enough, it's my fault for not being able to balance grad school and two jobs, it's her fault for not having a good enough job, it's the brother's faults, it's my family's fault....blah, blah, blah, the B.S. continued. All of those were thoughts that were out of anger and fear and just plain not true. (none of them Sarah, stop self-condemning.) The Lord struck me with a feathery 2x4 (which Galileo (I think) would assert hurt as much as a wooden 2x4, thank you very much) and said, "Hey, it's nobody's fault. It have orchestrated this to happen, and I will provide for you. Trust me." Then He proceeded to gently and swiftly bring to mind the thoughts from the CBMW (above website and organization) about how it is my role to bear primary responsibility for the family. Wow. I was stunned. Granted, Sarah and I aren't married yet, but I do think the "becoming one" has started, and as the wedding nears that definitely applies to our bank accounts. I realized that I had been looking at our relationship as more equalitarel. I looked for us to go into things (financially) evenly, half-and-half you could say. Maybe that wasn't wrong while we were dating to see things that way. But this train of thought could not continue into our marriage! It was a huge wake up call that God views me as responsible for the family. It's like a big ol' dose of maturity (or a call for one rather) sat right in my lap in my oober comfy, rust colored recliner (yep, the same one Cary).


This whole looking out for one's whole family instead of just one's self is a whole new brain shift for me. Seriously, it's like I have to view everything through a whole new lens (or set of them rather).


The morale of this story - because the world could just never do to have a morale less story *coNapoleon Dynamiteugh* - is read good and profitable websites, and those do not usually have uncovered, mammalian reproductive organs shown on there.

67 Days to go

So, let the drama unfold. 2 weekends ago Sarah's, my lovely fiance, truck decided to break down on the weekend we were trying to move into the apartment she would inhabit until we get married and we would inhabit after we got married. No judgment on cohabitation, it's very pragmatic, just note the fact that studies show that couples who cohabitate before marriage are 75% more likely to divorce. Just sayin'.

Anyway, so the truck breaks down and it takes FOUR hours and 4-7 men (2-3 (maybe more) of them on illicit drugs...they were passerbys helping and I was SO grateful for them, however, we didn't exactly break down in the best part of town one could assert.) to get the truck onto a towing dolley. You see we pushed the truck OVER where the back tires rest in the dolley. Yes, our brute strength was shown, and 4 hours later our heads were boiling with frustration. Mind you, this break down happens just the next day after its radiator and thermostat had been replaced. So, at this point, we spend the rest of the weekend fixing the green, pickup truck - lovingly named Larry after the Veggietales (2 eprops for cheesy Christian movies that are so great and greatly to be praised). This fixing entailed getting a new battery (the old one was still under warranty, thank God!), replacing a radiator hose, replacing the spark plugs, and replacing the distributor cap.

If Larry wasn't in enough trouble in our books and pocketbooks, he decided to breakdown again on this past Saturday. Oh yes he did folks. Yes he did. Only this time, he decided he needed to do a little more damage...just to see what kind of cohonies we were made of. Larry decided to mess up and/or allow his transmission to mess up. Today we found out his repairs will sing to the tune of (since it's far too major of work for us to do ourselves) 1,500 bones!!! Oh yes, you heard me correctly. 4 digits folks. Four. and a comma. Thankfully (major thanks!!!) Sarah's Dad is going to be able to go in halves with us on the cost of repairs.

In short, we could use prayers. Much of our saved money was to go toward our upcoming wedding for which we are footing much of the bill. Pray for patience, dependable vehicles, discounts, second jobs that pay REALLY well, provision, contentedness, etc. Thanks all! You're wonderful...really wonderful.

Tomorrow I'll try to bumble out the lesson that sat down in my lap today with this whole saga.

Please SBC, hear this message...

So, I just ran across this article on another fellow's site. I will post the URL I hope everyone who reads this checks it out. It's so freaking amazing I'm speechless to describe it to you. It contains Aussies, Jesus, and lovin'. Seriously, how much better can it get? I do not know my friends. Check it out.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/church-may-profit-from-doom/2008/09/29/1222650989541.html

68.....

I was surprised at the similarity in the answers I received to the last question posed online and in life. Thanks for the insight ladies.

Now, say a fella was going to plan a picnic. What would an ideal picnic meal? (no rhyming intended)

PS: Does anyone know where I can find one of those traditional picnic blankets that are red and white squares? I really want one of those....

71 and counting

Listening to: Dracula's Wedding by Outkast

So, as I've been reading numerous blogs as of late, I've decided I want my blog to be something more. This will be my thinking pod and my cannon I will shoot questions out of to whomever to get some feedback on various marriage prep questions or issues.

So, I'll start with the following question:

What are the top three things that you would or do expect in a husband (if male, just pretend you weren't for a while. Pull on your panties and hook your bra and answer the question, please.)?

Until later.
Nic